Welcome to Diego Silang Movement

A call to amend RA 9262 otherwise known as Anti-Violence Against Women and Their Children Act of 2004, and a call for the government to come up with a better law providing EQUAL PROTECTION for all.

Domestic Violence is not a gender issue. It happens to all. Let's help stop Domestic Violence now!

We need your help too!






Reporter's notebook - Macho Inabuso

Special Thanks to Jiggy Manicad and Erin Yang of GMA 7.


For the latest Philippine news stories and videos, visit GMANews.TV

Women beats men too

Double Standards on Abuse

6 out of 9 vs RA 9262

June 19, 2009 6 out of 29 cases that day was about RA 9262. This is an issue, much like domestic violence. I'm in the courtroom awaiting for my turn. Every case about the RA 9262, I would secretly glance at both parties trying to pinpoint who the real victim is, but to no avail. I would focus my attention to those men as I imagine them behind bars for at least a day or two prior posting bail. Most of them only with one or two alleged violations of RA 9262, I was cited for four different offenses. Gladly my case was referred to mediation, and thereafter we reached settlement with my ex-wife.

RA 9262 is a criminal offense, and with that, you'll be jailed pending the resolution of your case. While this is bailable, surely the experience will haunt you forever. Now 6 out of around 20 men in that courtroom have been to jail for RA 9262, each of them needs to bail for their temporary liberty, liberty of their physical body but not of anguish that they are yet to bear with the case pending. The litigation fees, the alimony etc, will be next to haunt you besides the fact that you don't have a family to call now. You are alone men, you are doomed. You are hereby declared homeless and without money to even sustain a decent living.
Our cases may differ but I call on men to unite as this cause is for us. We've been empowering women for the past century that it now haunts us. The state should protect all its citizen regardless of gender, race or economic status. The Garcia case (as feminist groups call it) is still awaiting its decision from the Supreme Court questioning the constitutionality of RA 9262. I'm not after its abolition, rather for its amendment. We all need protection, not just women.
There's about a hundred studies about battered women and other domestic violence issues against women, but is it right to say that this does not happen to men or it's just that there's no study made about it as of yet? Just try google and there maybe about a thousand results all about women but only a couple for men. I joined a couple of internet forums just to see how Filipinos react about this issue on men being victims of domestic violence, and as I previously posted, I got about a couple of 'groups' discussing this issue. My conclusion still remains the same, we know it's happening, but we don't know how to react or counter it. Men still see fear of their wives as love not abuse and is often faced with ridicule instead of guidance. Anyone in an abusive relationship needs to seek help asap. We don't need to throw all our men to jail if they happen to be abusive, or they can't pay alimony or child support. What we need is support from the government instead of laws penalizing this and that.
Why not create a department who will handle all issues of domestic violence composed of professionals who can REALLY help instead of encouraging our women to seek legal remedies right away? Let those abusive men AND women go to counselling together or independently. If the state won't let us file divorce as they are clinging on to this 'sanctity' of marriage, then, for every Juan's sake, assist them go to counselling. Seeking legal remedies right away seems expediting the process of ruining the family. This is like saying 'send your husband/partner to jail first then reconcile after'. If your wife sent you to jail would you want to go kiss and make-up again? I don't think so.

RA 9262 vs Dr. Hayden Kho

Republic Act 9262 covers abuse or violence like, physical, sexual, economic, verbal and psychological abuse. Now, with Dr. Hayden Kho's case, I don't see how our legal luminaries will see this case, but this is my view.


Here are several issues they may raise against Kho:


In RA 9262, sexual violence as defined in Sec 3 part B refers to it as an act which is sexual in nature, committed against a woman or her child.



- The act in the video is sexual in nature, no question about it, but is not against the woman's will. What is against the woman's will was the distribution of the video, which is yet to be covered by an existing law.



Section 3 part B.- rap, sexual harassment, acts of lasciviousness, treating a woman or her child as a sex object.



- Sex object? Well, probably, as he has this intention of recording the deed without the woman's knowledge, but again, this is, or should I say, this was for his personal 'consumption'.



Section 3A refers to Psychological violence.


- Key word here is 'likely to cause'. It is indeed likely that there's the probability that those videos would be stolen, much like your diary being read by someone after keeping and writing in it secretly for years. What's in Kho's computer or someone's diary may 'likely' cause psychological violence, but I believe that's what is needed to be established here is their intention.



There might be other cases NBI or DOJ is looking into what case will be filed against Dr. Hayden Kho, but there’s a probability that it will be RA 9262 as was already insinuated by Sec. Gonzales in his statement. Again, I'm not an expert on this matter but this is how I see this case will go. My heart goes out to Katrina and the others for being subjected to this misery.

The new Andres


We've known Andres de Saya since were little. A husband that either so love or so afraid of his wife. Andres is now a thing of the past, now we call them with different names, and despite that fact that this is a societal issue, we manage to laugh about it. Here's to name a few;


U.P.A.K - Unyong Patago sa mga Asawang Kinatatakutan

U.T.I.N - Unyon ng mga Tatay na Inaapi ng mga Nanay

P.U.K.I - Pambansang Unyon ng mga Kalalakihang Inaapi

U.H.A.W - Union of Husbands Afraid of Wives


With catchy and naughty names these 'organizations' are actually for real and they have members that ranges between 10-30 or even more, actively lurking in the cyberspace.

UPAK being the most active of them all with about 5-20 members participating in their forum. The likes of crav007, DreadLed,feth102, mutzie, execon,rchie and sparkee will always be there to share their 2cents for any member needing assistance.

PUKI's members are global, allegedly with chapters like PUKI-Ca (California) and PUKI-Mo (Missouri). The cyber origin of this 'organization' can be traced back to a bicolano forum.

I don't have exact details of UTIN and UHAW, but they do exist in other small forums but is either not active or is just a subplot to an existing topic.

DiegoSilang the yahoogroup was established four years ago with 30-50 members. Most members however are quite inactive, others like me, continues to carry on the fight for men's rights thru other venues.

While these groups carry unusual and not so serious names, they do have members who are ready to listen and they too are quite serious with their cause. Unfortunately, most of them remain hidden in the various corridors of cyberspace afraid of ridicule or wrath of their dreaded enemy.

Now is being a battered/abused men a mere myth? A pigment of our imagination? I don't think so. While most of us refuse to outdo our medieval thinking that men are superior in nature than women, this thought, projects how we see men and women of today. Again I say that until you see that both gender is equal, you'll always be a victim yourself. Since the launch of this site 2 months ago, it already reached about 200 visitors. Visitors now aware that this site and this cause for men’s rights now exist. Thank you!

Kinds of Abuse as defined under RA 9262 and who it protects.

Republic Act 9262 or the Anti-Violence Against Women and their Children Act of 2004 covers act or a series of acts committed by any person which result in or is likely to result in physical, sexual, psychological harm or suffering, or economic abuse including threats of such acts, battery, assault, coercion, harrasment or arbitrary deprivation of liberty. Now let's define each within the scope of RA 9262.

  • Physical Violence (RA 9262 3A)- refers to acts that include bodily or physical harm. (Pananakit sa katawan, pambubugbog)
  • Sexual Violence (RA 9262 3B) - refers to an act which is sexual in nature, committed against a woman or her child. It includes, but is not limited to:
  1. Rape, sexual harassment, acts of lasciviousness, treating a woman or her child as a sex object, making demeaning and sexually suggestive remarks, physically attacking the sexual parts of the victim’s body, forcing her/him to watch obscene publications and indecent shows or forcing the woman or her child to do indecent acts and/or make films thereof, forcing the wife and mistress/lover to live in the conjugal home or sleep together in the same room with the abuser.
  2. Acts causing or attempting to cause the victim to engage in any sexual activity by force, threat of force, physical or other harm or threat of physical or other harm or coercion.
  3. Prostituting the woman or child.
  • Psychological Violence (RA 9262 Sec 3C) - refers to acts or omissions causing or likely to cause mental or emotional suffering of the victim such as but not limited to intimidation, harassment, stalking, damage to property, public ridicule or humiliation, repeated verbal abuse and mental infidelity. It includes causing or allowing the victim to witness the physical, sexual or psychological abuse of a member of the family to which the victim belongs, or to witness pornography in any form or to witness abusive injury to pets or to unlawful or unwanted deprivation of the right to custody and/or visitation of common children.
  • Economic Abuse (RA 9262 Sec 3D) - refers to acts that make or attempt to make a woman financially dependent which includes, but is not limited to the following;
  1. Withdrawal of financial support or preventing the victim from engaging in any legitimate profession, occupation, business or activity, except in cases wherein the other spouse/partner objects on valid, serious and moral grounds as defined in Article 73 of the Family Code.
  2. Deprivation or threat of deprivation of financial resources and the right to the use and enjoyment of the conjugal, community or property owned in common.
  3. Destroying household property.
  4. Controlling the victims’ own money or properties or solely controlling the conjugal money or properties.

Coverage or who this law protects;

Per Section 3 of RA 9262, this law protects your;

  • Wife
  • Former wife
  • Girlfriend or Mistress (with established sexual or dating relationship)
  • Child or children (legitimate or illegitimate)



Domestic violence

Domestic Violence can happen to all. If you feel you are not sure that you are in this situation, please refer to the table below;


SIGNS OF AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
Your Inner Thoughts and Feelings Your Partner’s Belittling Behavior

Do you:

  • feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
  • avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
  • feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
  • believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
  • wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
  • feel emotionally numb or helpless?

Does your partner:

  • humiliate, criticize, or yell at you?
  • treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
  • ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
  • blame you for his own abusive behavior?
  • see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
Your Partner’s Violent Behavior or Threats Your Partner’s Controlling Behavior

Does your partner:

  • have a bad and unpredictable temper?
  • hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
  • threaten to take your children away or harm them?
  • threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
  • force you to have sex?
  • destroy your belongings?

Does your partner:

  • act excessively jealous and possessive?
  • control where you go or what you do?
  • keep you from seeing your friends or family?
  • limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
  • constantly check up on you?



Sources;
Domestic Violence Organization
http://www.domesticviolence.org

Help Guide.Org
A trusted Non Profit Resource - Understand, Prevent & Resolve Life's challenges
Domestic Violence and Abuse
Warning Signs and Symptoms of Abusive Relationships by;
Pat Davies, Melinda Smith, M.A., Tina de Benedictis, Ph.D., Jaelline Jaffe, Ph.D., and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D.
http://www.helpguide.org

Gender Justice Awards

As we go through our advocacy of promoting equality, I saw this 'contest' from NCRFW's site (National Commission on the Role of Filipino Women) they call "Gender Justice Awards". In coordination with the University of the Philippines-Center for Women's Studies Foundation Inc. (UPCWSFI) and the United Nations Development Fund (UNDP), the project aims to aims to highlight the important role that the judiciary plays in addressing violence against women (VAW).

Now here's my take on this so called award. If this initiative came from these women organizations saying they will be awarding those in our judiciary, hearing VAW (Violence Against Women) cases. What do you think is a man's chance to win his case and for the judge to get the award? Take note that this effort is highly recognized and supported by no other than the United Nations and several women's group making the award one I would like to get too.

As of this posting, they have not announced or published the winners and what cases were involved. In the meantime, here's how judges could qualify;

Qualifications for Nomination

  1. Judges from Municipal Trial Courts, Metropolitan Courts, Municipal Circuit Courts, Family Courts and Regional Trial Courts as well as Justices from the Sandiganbayan (specifically on sexual harassment cases), whether incumbent or have retired from service provided that, in case of the latter, he/she was incumbent at the time of nomination, who have handled cases involving violence against women (VAW) and have rendered a gender-sensitive decision, during the period January 2004 to December 2008, may be nominated.

  2. The cases under consideration are those cases involving violence against women (VAW), such as rape (which includes marital rape, incestuous rape and statutory rape), domestic violence, physical injuries, acts of lasciviousness, sexual harassment, concubinage, parricide, and psychological and emotional abuse in legal separation and nullity of marriage, and other cases involving abuse of and violence inflicted on a woman or a girl-child.

  3. The nominated judge/s must have shown sensitivity to women litigants in the conduct of trial of the case/s under consideration.

  4. The nominated judge/s should: (1) exhibit integrity and moral character as a public servant and private citizen; (2) have neither record of convictions nor any pending charges at the time of the nomination and; (3) practice judicial decorum towards lawyers, litigants, witnesses and the public in general to establish his/her personal integrity.

Now I ask you what your opinion of gender sensitive decision involving VAW?

Boycott Avon

I was ecstatic last night after typing in domestic violence in Google and saw that there's a local campaign in the Philippines against domestic violence. Actress/TV host Ruffa Gutierrez is serving as one of the ambassadors. The long list of supporters includes Reese Withersppon, Salma Hayek, Lauren Conrad and supermodels Daniela Pestova and Adrianda Sklenarikova Karimbeu. Dubbed as “Speak Out Against Domestic violence,” the project was launched internationally in 2004 and is aimed to empower women who are victims of domestic violence. Article written by Rina Jimenez- David in Inquirer.

However, my delight suddenly turned into frustration as I went through the whole article about the foundation. (click here for the article). The reason? There's not even a footnote about men being abused nor were they included in the campaign. Is it safe to assume that the campaign of Avon is directed to men? That men are perpetrators of domestic violence and never victims of it?

Avon's tag line as the Company for Women may be doing them very well as its marketing strategy, but to actually carry this through out their campaign is downright insulting. It's like shouting to the whole world that since men are not their targeted consumers, they don't count, and that they can only protect those who wear bras and lipsticks. This is ridiculous.

I don't have a transcript of what happened during the launching of this event last month, but it was well attended with notable personalities like Rina Jimenez-David, Lea Salonga, Sen. Pia Cayetano, Boots Anson-Roa, Radio DJ's Chico Garcia and Delamar, former beauty titlist Abbygale Arenas De Leon, Cito Beltran and the program's ambassador Ruffa Gutierrez. The event was hosted by Boy Abunda. The event was well attended by women's rights advocates and other illustrados but I'm just wondering why there's not a single mention of men being included in this campaign too. There was not even an acknowledgement that men can be victims of domestic violence too. Even with Avon's press release in their local website, there’s not even one sentence recognizing the fact that domestic violence does not only affect women, but men as well.

Check out their main campaign page and see how biased they are and that this campaign is directed against men without acknowledging the fact that again, this is not a gender issue. It says,In the Philippines, six women are abused every week. Four wives fall victim to domestic violence everyday. I(t) knows no boundaries-geographic, cultural or social status.” Look at this statement. See how they acknowledge that it is indeed a global issue but not a gender transcending one. Nevertheless, they still call for everyone, men included, to support their cause. How selfish could they be? Their marketing strategy is shameless, a direct attack to the dignity of men, whom they indirectly dub as perpetrators. Men are destined to be doomed.

Shelter for all Men

One of the ultimate goals of this movement, is to finally establish a center for men barred by law in joining their family. I started to believe that there's none and if ever this will be the first one, till I saw this old news clip from Cebu about it's city approving the establishment of Men's Center. The initiative was headed by a certain Teresa Fernandez of Cebu City Women and Family Affairs Commision or CCWFAC which she serves as its Executive Chairperson.

I haven't been to Cebu, but will probably soon if this project goes thru. This news clipping I got was published around December, and I'm guessing that by this time it's already serving it's purpose. And for this resolution, I want to commend again Ms. Fernandez, along with Councilor Leah Japson, the Bantay Banay Inter-Agency Coordinating Council and the local government of Cebu for supporting this project.

A batterer or an offender intervention program is cited under RA 9262 Sec. 14.

"SEC. 41. Counseling and Treatment of Offenders. – The DSWD shall provide rehabilitative counseling and treatment to perpetrators towards learning constructive ways of coping with anger and emotional outbursts and reforming their ways. When necessary, the offender shall be ordered by the Court to submit to psychiatric treatment or confinement."

As I write this article, I have not seen nor heard any program pertaining to the above captioned instruction from this law. Now let's compare it with this one;


"SEC. 40. Mandatory Programs and Services for Victims. – The DSWD, and LGU’s shall provide the victims temporary shelters, provide counseling, psycho-social services and /or, recovery, rehabilitation programs and livelihood assistance."

"The DOH shall provide medical assistance to victims."

Now out in the streets you'll definitely go, if you happen to be the 'offender', guilty or not, as soon as a protection order is issued, you're out. Now let's just say that the court found you guilty of the offense? I guess your just out of luck, as all you should get as per this law you just won a ticket to the Anger Management program (if there's one).

Equal protection of laws? Forget it, till this law is amended, we need to be very careful. If we can gather at least a million supporter for about a peso each, I'm hoping that a center for us will be built where rehabilitation and livelihood assistance aside from temporary shelter will be offered. With this project let's help them help us.

Here's what we need;

- 1 million members/supporter
- 1 million pesos for the Center and Services
- 1 million prayers that this come true

If you want to help us, a widget is placed in the left corner for your donation. It's linked via PayPal to accept international and local contributions.

Renewing my call

Many seem to not understand what my cause is, lest what RA 9262 is, till they become victim or the subject of it. For the past weeks, I dedicated my time doing some research so I can further my knowledge of the subject and to extend help to others as well.

With further research and with the feedback I’ve received, I can say that I have grown. I launched the site primarily to air what I felt at that time, and so that somehow others may be forewarned. Now I'm into answering questions like, “How can I really help?” With this question, I came to the conclusion that I need to revise my call to repeal RA 9262. This angered some who didn't even bother to read what the whole site is all about, thinking I'm just another chauvinistic, gender-biased bastard, a cry baby begging for some attention. The truth is, I am for the protection of everyone. I want all forms of abuse to stop.

The Diego Silang Movement will now focus more on Domestic Violence for all ages and gender. However, its main focus will be that of Father's Rights and our crusade to justice. I will be putting in more studies and reviews from books and experiences to let help this forsaken nation realize what fatherhood is all about. To the members of our gay and lesbian communities, I cannot speak for them as of yet, but they are welcome to speak out and share their experiences. We need all the help we can get to make this cause work for us. Let's make this call together and be vigilant of our rights. We all need protection and we all need help, but as long as this government focuses only on women's and children's rights, this will not be possible. Now I am renewing my call to amend RA 9262 immediately and focus on the protection of ALL GENDERS.

Acquitted?

Convicted or acquitted, it doesn't really matter now. Nicole recanted, and is now in the US, while her 'acquitted rapist is probably now on board the plane back to the US too.

Acquittal is not saying that Smith is innocent, in his previous statements we can recall that he acknowledged having sex with Nicole that time but was too drunk to remember if he forced her or not. Nicole says the same thing, thus, the basis of her recantation.

Now the problem is this, while the whole nation rallied behind Nicole when she cries help as she was raped by Smith, then later recanting her testimony? Where do we stand? It's like being suspended in thin air not knowing what really happened or what's next. You fought for her then the next day she's gone to the US deciding to forget 'her past'. But what about us? What about those thousands of supporters who rallied behind her?

What will you feel? I call this media frenzy, but not to worry it's not just the Philippines who's suffering from it.This is an internationally recognized phenomenon caused by the world seeing women as the weaker sex. Media and law seems to be in cohorts when saying that women are victims and men are mere perpetrators. Now who's the real victim? I really don't know, but if this happens to me, i'll be very scared to watch TV or even read the news.

My friend once told me that in law, there are actually four truths. One is that of the victim, another one for the perpetrator, one based on the law and lastly the truth which we may never be heard or be known at all.


This is my point, it does not follow that when a woman cries foul of rape or abuse, must we believe them right away. Pity those men who were falsely accused. Where do they go for help? Most of us go after these men because we assume that women will not simply cry for help or scream rape in order to protect their dignity. What about us? What about men? Is being accused of rape or abuse a status which we can be dignified for?

This is just another case of Andres seeking vindication. But again, as they say, the damage has been done. Will we be next? Remember we don't have the US at our back, we only have ourselves and the few pennies left in our pockets to defend ourselves and regain our dignity and wait for those who accused you, do a Nicole.

Disturbing Statistics for Fatherless homes

Let numbers speak for it self. According to a US journal, Getting Men Involved: The Newsletter of the Bay Area Male Involvement Network, Spring 1997:

Begin quote:

63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes
(Source: U.S. D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census

90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes

85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes (Source: Center for Disease Control)

80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes (Source: Criminal Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26, 1978.)

71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes (Source: National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools.)

75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes (Source: Rainbows for all Gods Children.)

70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes (Source: U.S. Dept. of Justice, Special Report, Sept 1988)

85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home (Source: Fulton Co. Georgia jail populations, Texas Dept. of Corrections 1992)

(Because only a portion of each age group grew up in a fatherless home,) these statistics translate to mean that children from fatherless homes are:

5 times more likely to commit suicide
32 times more likely to run away
20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders
14 times more likely to commit rape
9 times more likely to drop out of high school
10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances
9 times more likely to end up in a state-operated institution
20 times more likely to end up in prison.

end quote

Close family ties, a trait associated with Filipinos positively, and sometimes in a negative way. But just imagine growing up without a father given those numbers above. This is very disturbing. Growing up without a father is not just a temporary stain to one's upbringing but maybe carried out as he interacts with the society.

Men's Rights Now

After days of research, I'm starting to realize that we are not alone. Fighting for men's rights is a world wide phenomenon and with some sites of this international organizations hitting around a hundred thousand hits a month, we are now being heard and we are not alone. While thousand of studies and hundreds of organizations are being created worldwide for women's rights, we seldom hear about ordinary men, gays & lesbians. Are we so blinded by the this old notion that women are weak that we continuously forget about the others? Are we saying that men are mere perpetrators of this crime and they don't need protection or help from the governement? Now I say this is completely BS.

Equal protection, equal oppurtunity. This is what we want, and this is what we need.

The idea to come up with an organization such as theDiego Silang movement, is to let others be aware that the Andres we came to know in this country needs protection and help from the government and other soci-civic organizations too. This is an appeal that while we have created laws to protect our women and children specifically RA 9262, the law is actually a direct attack to the sanctity of marriage and is actually gearing towards the destruction of our families.

We condone violence as much as you do, but men need your help too. RA 9262 specifically states the benefits a women can get and the aid the governemnt shall provide. But how about us? What can the government do if we are falsely accused? What can the government do if they kicked us out of our homes, stripped of property, worst, of fatherhood?

If one is proven guilty beyond reasonable doubt, by all means, let them rot in jail. But what if the law is being used for other reasons than justice? Where can we go? Who will represent us if we can't avail the services of a lawyer? The answer is no one. No organization or government institution in this country advocates men's rights. We are all alone.

Several international organizations including the National Coalition of Free Men and Father's for Justice among others are both gearing up to empower men and other genders left alone to rot by this system.

This is the main goal of the Diego Silang Movement. We will not stop till the creation of a fair system by the government and that they heed our voices. We vow to assist those in need of assistance, be it men, women, gays or lesbians. We vow to fight for the abolition of RA 9262 till the government came up with a better law protecting all genders.


Domestic violence is not just a woman's issue, this is OUR ISSUE.

Husband's revenge

Now it's time to get back on track and stand for what is rightfully ours - our dignity, our being a father. One article from Phil Star last March says a certain woman was charged with kidnapping for failure to return her son to the father. To qoute the report further;


"In a resolution, dated Jan. 16, 2009, Quezon City Assistant Prosecutor Alfredo Agcaoili said Mary Pauline Javier had committed the crime charged by deliberately refusing to hand back the boy to his father. Assistant City Prosecutor Wilfredo Andres approved the resolution on the same day."


But wait, before you go rushing to Supreme Court, this case was filed in consideration of their previous compromise agreement to share custody of their son as they are now living separately. However, the woman allegedly failed to return their son back to his father for months now, prompting the latter to file writ of habeas corpus.


Keep in mind that this is a result of their previous agreement which the court approved. Never ever enter into an agreement without the court's approval. While you can gather enough evidence or witnesses to support your claim that the two of you agreed to something, this can easily be refuted. As they say, this so called agreement cannot hold water in court and can be used against you.

Options for battered husbands

Atty. Katrina Legarda once wrote in one of her articles (full story) with ABS-CBN news presenting the letter from a certain 'battered husband' to file for her marriage to be declared void due to pyschological incapacity. Here's the catch, you need to prepare hundreds of thousands of pesos for this.

Here's what you need and how much;

Psychologist/Psychiatrist (one with a doctorate degree in clinical psychology) - to conduct battery of tests on you and your wife to determine your personalities. Cost is around P40 000- P60 000.

Family Lawyer - to represent you. Cost is dependent on how good lawyer is, which may be around P150 000 - P 250 000, for acceptance fee alone. This is not inclusive of appearance fee, retainer, and others. Well, there's always PAO(Public Attorney's Office) but take note that they have the right to deny your case as they more cases on priority list.

Social Worker - to conduct surveys or to back up the doctor's claim. Last time I heard from a family lawyer, some courts require social worker to check on your wife's lifestyle or whatever. I don't exactly know for what specific reason. Cost is around P 10 000 - P 20 000.


For those who can't afford, don't lose hope. With this so called 'movement' I'm trying to come up in this blog prosper, hopefully we can get some lawyers or even doctors to help us out. For those interested email me at yolak69@gmail.com and join our cause.

Ever heard of battered husbands

"Lalaki ka," he said. "Nakakahiya namang sabihin na binugbog ka ng asawa mo (You're a man. It's a shame to say your wife beat you)."




Written by Claire Delfin for GMA News last 2/13/2008(full story). This article shows how men are left alone in this society whose laws favors women more than men. The story is about a certain Roger, a typical Andres in their household. For the love of his children, he swallowed whole his ego and kept this brutality for himself, even if until this one night that he managed to bring himself to a nearby hospital with blood dripping profusely down his nape from a wound caused by a broken glass thrown at him by no less than his wife.





"We live in a patriarchal, macho society. It is still a common perception that men are stronger than women. So, a man, even if he's a victim of spousal abuse, refuses to let other people know about his situation for fear that society might think of him as a lesser man." -Supt. Filemon Porciuncula, Chief, QCPD Crime Lab




So where will you go if you happen to be in the same shoes as Roger? This is not certainly one that you can just tell your Mom or Yaya about. Issues like this should be reported to the nearest police station or the at least the Barangay Hall. Forget about your dignity, forget about what will they say. You may file for a blotter or better yet file a case immediately. But if again, you are still this typical Roger that you "LOVE" your wife to pieces. Then forget about it. I say this for your security, better late than never. Again, just remember that if your wife files for RA 9262 and you would like to refute it by saying that it's really you she's been hurting. Court will always go back to the records and ask for your medical certificate and a blotter at least.



Is there a law or at least an agency who can protect Roger?



Let me quote again from this article what the spokeperson of Gabriela said about this.

"If men are battered, then like what women did, they should also unite and lobby for a legislation that will protect them from domestic abuses," Gert Libang, spokeperson Gabriela '08


Reality bites. While there are laws citing physical abuse, there is no law specifically covering domestic abuse. We are on our own. Be scared, be very scared.




A call to amend RA 9262

What's with our lawmakers today? My point is simple, this law should be amended right away. I leave it for our lawyers to discuss this further, but simple logic would say that this is unconstitutional and is now depriving thousands of Filipino males their inherent right to be protected by our laws equally. And to quote;

“No person shall be deprived of life, liberty, or property without due process of law, nor shall any person be denied the equal protection of the laws.”

(Article III, Section 1, Constitution)
Yes, I'm a victim of this law, and now I'm living alone, my family ruined. I'm giving P16 000 for my 3 year old kid which I'm prohibited to go out with. While I can visit her anytime, we can't get to go to church, nor shop. Now, they ask, am I still a father? I don't know anymore, as she might mistook me now for just another visitor. I'm stripped of my fatherhood.
There's a lot more of this happening all around, but culture and their huge ego is preventing them to come out and defend themselves. Now I'm calling you all out to join this cause. Post your experiences and let us come together and act as one to have this law repealed.

Why create this

Nabuhayan ata ako ng may nung may magpost dun sa article ko bout RA 9262. Iniisip ko lang, ilang mga lalake pa kaya ang di kayang aminin sa sarili nilang sila si Andres?

Ilang lalaki pa kaya ang sinasaktan o inaabuso ng kanilang mga partner sa buhay ang di kayang ipagtanngol ang kanilang sarili? Don't get me wrong, this is not a gender issue, mahal ko mga babae, napapaligiran ako ng babae saking paglaki. Tatlong babae kapatid ko, solo kong lalaki. Anak ko babae din, at ikamamatay kong malaman ang may manakit sa kanila.

This is an issue of equal protection. Why would any law favor one gender from the other? Why aren't there any laws protecting gays or lesbians? But we have this 10 or so laws protecting women? Di kaya eto ang di sa atin nakakapag pa abante bilang tao, bilang bansa? We so desparately try to distinguish one from the other, but, we all know that we should be treated equally. While some can do somethings the other can't we are still human, in Science homo sapiens in the Bible - Man, created in His own image.

Think of it this way, if you have a 'special kid' do you call him special or a gift? Do you treat him differently or you treat him normally? Will it be better to treat him normally to grow normally? To grow in a society that's full of shit? So he can survive?

The more the laws protecting someone from something, the more this society becomes corrupt. The more we want to get out of the system. But in truth and in fact it's not the system but how you view things that matters, how you behave, how you were raised that is the question.If this society can be taught to love, respect and protect anyone from anything we don't need laws. All we need is our conscience.

I say this not because I'm guilty or not of the offense, that's another story. My case was already dismissed and is now in the archive. Let this be something that will awaken my fellow male species to come out of the open and stop being a hypocrite and open their eyes.

Now till i get a better name for my cause other than Diego Silang, my apologies once again to his family or to this nation who reveres his name. He is great, and I hope we will be embody his greatness as we go on with our own fight to REPEAL RA 9262.