Options for battered husbands

Atty. Katrina Legarda once wrote in one of her articles (full story) with ABS-CBN news presenting the letter from a certain 'battered husband' to file for her marriage to be declared void due to pyschological incapacity. Here's the catch, you need to prepare hundreds of thousands of pesos for this.

Here's what you need and how much;

Psychologist/Psychiatrist (one with a doctorate degree in clinical psychology) - to conduct battery of tests on you and your wife to determine your personalities. Cost is around P40 000- P60 000.

Family Lawyer - to represent you. Cost is dependent on how good lawyer is, which may be around P150 000 - P 250 000, for acceptance fee alone. This is not inclusive of appearance fee, retainer, and others. Well, there's always PAO(Public Attorney's Office) but take note that they have the right to deny your case as they more cases on priority list.

Social Worker - to conduct surveys or to back up the doctor's claim. Last time I heard from a family lawyer, some courts require social worker to check on your wife's lifestyle or whatever. I don't exactly know for what specific reason. Cost is around P 10 000 - P 20 000.


For those who can't afford, don't lose hope. With this so called 'movement' I'm trying to come up in this blog prosper, hopefully we can get some lawyers or even doctors to help us out. For those interested email me at yolak69@gmail.com and join our cause.

Ever heard of battered husbands

"Lalaki ka," he said. "Nakakahiya namang sabihin na binugbog ka ng asawa mo (You're a man. It's a shame to say your wife beat you)."

Written by Claire Delfin for GMA News last 2/13/2008(full story). This article shows how men are left alone in this society whose laws favors women more than men. The story is about a certain Roger, a typical Andres in their household. For the love of his children, he swallowed whole his ego and kept this brutality for himself, even if until this one night that he managed to bring himself to a nearby hospital with blood dripping profusely down his nape from a wound caused by a broken glass thrown at him by no less than his wife.

"We live in a patriarchal, macho society. It is still a common perception that men are stronger than women. So, a man, even if he's a victim of spousal abuse, refuses to let other people know about his situation for fear that society might think of him as a lesser man." -Supt. Filemon Porciuncula, Chief, QCPD Crime Lab

So where will you go if you happen to be in the same shoes as Roger? This is not certainly one that you can just tell your Mom or Yaya about. Issues like this should be reported to the nearest police station or the at least the Barangay Hall. Forget about your dignity, forget about what will they say. You may file for a blotter or better yet file a case immediately. But if again, you are still this typical Roger that you "LOVE" your wife to pieces. Then forget about it. I say this for your security, better late than never. Again, just remember that if your wife files for RA 9262 and you would like to refute it by saying that it's really you she's been hurting. Court will always go back to the records and ask for your medical certificate and a blotter at least.



Is there a law or at least an agency who can protect Roger?



Let me quote again from this article what the spokeperson of Gabriela said about this.

"If men are battered, then like what women did, they should also unite and lobby for a legislation that will protect them from domestic abuses," Gert Libang, spokeperson Gabriela '08

Reality bites. While there are laws citing physical abuse, there is no law specifically covering domestic abuse. We are on our own. Be scared, be very scared.

A call to amend RA 9262

What's with our lawmakers today? My point is simple, this law should be amended right away. I leave it for our lawyers to discuss this further, but simple logic would say that this is unconstitutional and is now depriving thousands of Filipino males their inherent right to be protected by our laws equally. And to quote;

“No person shall be deprived of life, liberty, or property without due process of law, nor shall any person be denied the equal protection of the laws.”

(Article III, Section 1, Constitution)

Yes, I'm a victim of this law, and now I'm living alone, my family ruined. I'm giving P16 000 for my 3 year old kid which I'm prohibited to go out with. While I can visit her anytime, we can't get to go to church, nor shop. Now, they ask, am I still a father? I don't know anymore, as she might mistook me now for just another visitor. I'm stripped of my fatherhood.

There's a lot more of this happening all around, but culture and their huge ego is preventing them to come out and defend themselves. Now I'm calling you all out to join this cause. Post your experiences and let us come together and act as one to have this law repealed.

Why create this

Nabuhayan ata ako ng may nung may magpost dun sa article ko bout RA 9262. Iniisip ko lang, ilang mga lalake pa kaya ang di kayang aminin sa sarili nilang sila si Andres?

Ilang lalaki pa kaya ang sinasaktan o inaabuso ng kanilang mga partner sa buhay ang di kayang ipagtanngol ang kanilang sarili? Don't get me wrong, this is not a gender issue, mahal ko mga babae, napapaligiran ako ng babae saking paglaki. Tatlong babae kapatid ko, solo kong lalaki. Anak ko babae din, at ikamamatay kong malaman ang may manakit sa kanila.

This is an issue of equal protection. Why would any law favor one gender from the other? Why aren't there any laws protecting gays or lesbians? But we have this 10 or so laws protecting women? Di kaya eto ang di sa atin nakakapag pa abante bilang tao, bilang bansa? We so desparately try to distinguish one from the other, but, we all know that we should be treated equally. While some can do somethings the other can't we are still human, in Science homo sapiens in the Bible - Man, created in His own image.

Think of it this way, if you have a 'special kid' do you call him special or a gift? Do you treat him differently or you treat him normally? Will it be better to treat him normally to grow normally? To grow in a society that's full of shit? So he can survive?

The more the laws protecting someone from something, the more this society becomes corrupt. The more we want to get out of the system. But in truth and in fact it's not the system but how you view things that matters, how you behave, how you were raised that is the question.If this society can be taught to love, respect and protect anyone from anything we don't need laws. All we need is our conscience.

I say this not because I'm guilty or not of the offense, that's another story. My case was already dismissed and is now in the archive. Let this be something that will awaken my fellow male species to come out of the open and stop being a hypocrite and open their eyes.

Now till i get a better name for my cause other than Diego Silang, my apologies once again to his family or to this nation who reveres his name. He is great, and I hope we will be embody his greatness as we go on with our own fight to REPEAL RA 9262.